Di Sebalik Mahligai..

Di sebalik mahligai yang dibina..
Sekian enam bulan tersusun bata-batanya..
Tiada disangka disebalik keteguhan tiang tiang yang dibina..
Terdapat kotoran di sebaliknya..

Akan tetapi tiada salahmu kotoran itu..
Tiada punca darimu..
Tiada persembunyian darimu..
Semuanya dari diriku..

Diriku yang menanam kotoran itu..
Tanpa pengetahuanmu..
Sekian enam bulan dirimu mengetahui kotoran itu..
Tapi dirimu mendiami..

Memberi ku peluang bicara..
Memberi ku peluang membuka..
Memberi ku peluang bersuara..
Memberi ku peluang tanpa lelah..

Sehinngga enam bulan dirimu mendiami..
Sehingga dirimu bersuara..
Menunjukkan semua kotoran yang ditanam..

Dengan setengah langkah dirimu memaling..
Aku menahan..
Aku menegah.
Aku menidakkan pemergianmu..

Aku memohon maaf..
Aku memohon keampunan darimu..
Aku memohon satu peluang terakhir darimu..
Aku memohon satu peluang untukku menghilangkan segala kotoran yang ada..
Aku memohon satu peluang untukku memulihkan mahligai yang dibina..

Akan ku hapuskan segala kotoran yang ada..
Akan ku buka mahligai yang kita bina..
Bata demi bata..
Akan ku pulihkan segalanya..
Akan ku cuci sehingga suci...

Akan ku hapuskan segala kotoran dari diriku..
Akan ku hapuskan segala najis mindaku..
Akan ku hapuskan busuk di hatiku..

Untuk mencapai mahligai yang kita rancang..
Untuk mencapai semua ceritera tersurat dan tersirat di setiap perbualan..
Untuk mencapai nafas terakhir kita bersama-sama..

Nur Azierah..
Dirimu darah yang mengalir di setiap sisip badan..
Dirimu jantung yang berdegup memberi nyawa padaku..
Pernafasanmu yang memberi udara padaku..
Matamu yang membantu aku melihat..
Suaramu memberi aku pendengaran..
Sentuhanmu yang membantu aku merasa..
Alunan rambutmu menyingkap setiap deriaku padamu..

Nur Azierah..
Aku mencintaimu hanya seorang..
Aku merinduimu hanya seorang..
Aku memerlukanmu hanya seorang..
Aku berghairah padamu hanya seorang..
Aku memikirkanmu hanya seorang..
Aku melihat padamu hanya seorang..
Aku bernafas hanya nafasmu seorang..

Nur Azierah..
Akan ku pastikan dirimu terlihat..
Hanya dirimu seorang untukku..
Hanya dirimu kekasih hatiku..
Hanya dirimu buah hatiku..
Hanya dirimu cinta matiku..
Hanya dirimu permaisuri hidupku...

Nur Azierah..
Ku pohon tiada henti kemaafan hatimu..
Ku pohon tiada henti agar dirimu memaafkan goblok insan ini..
Ku pohon tiada henti agar dirimu tiada melangkah pergi..
Ku pohon tiada henti agar tiada titik noktah buku ini..

Kerana dirimu begitu berharga..
Ini bukan iklan maybelline..
Ini kenyataan..

Akan ku cuci minda..
Akan ku cuci hati..
Akan ku cuci segalanya..
Mahu secara zahir dan batin..
Mahu secara hukuman dan pukulan..
Mahu setiap cara yang ada..
Agar terbukti padamu cinta tulus ikhlas hatiku..

Masa: 5.02 petang
Lagu didengari - Backstreet Boys - Shape Of My Heart
Mood - Bersalah

Half of each..

Today marks six months we have been together..

How time flies...

Six months...

Twenty-six weeks..

One hundred and eighty-three days..

Four thousand three hundred and eighty-three hours,,

Two hundred sixty-two thousand nine hundred and seventy four minutes..

Fifteen million five hundred fifty-two thousand seconds..

One may look like it is only six months..

One may say it is not a year..

One may say it is not ten years..

One may say it is not so long..

Nobody see this like us..

How we see each other..

How we see the slowness of time..

How we see the ups and downs everyday..

How we see life as it is..

The second you smile at me..

The second you look into my eyes..

The second you smirk..

The second you laugh at my goofs..

The second you close your eyes to sleep..

The second you patiently wait my loss..

The second when everything happen at once...

The whole six months feels like six weeks..

The whole six months took only twenty-six weeks..

The whole six months has six years of experience..

The whole six months has sixteen years of story..

The whole six months has sixty years of plannning..

We have been through a lot..

We have been throug the ups of life..

We have been through the downs of life..

We have been through the happy of life..

We have been through the sad of life..

No matter what happens, 

I will be right here beside you..

I will hold your hand..

I will walk with you on this road..

I will look at you..

I will smile with you..

And we shall walk to the end of life.together..

My love Nur Azierah..

Time: 11.50pm

Song listened: Marc Anthony - My Baby You

Mood: Appreciating you.

I am sorry...

Today was supposed to be the happiest day in our life..
Today was supposed to be the day we cheer upon..
Today was the day we have been hoping for..
Today was the day he accepted without fight..

You were just being concerned of my well being..
You were just asking about how I was feeling..
You were being how a relationship would be..

And I got my high note on you..
I talk impolitely toward you..

I should have not done that..
I should have not let it got the best of me..
I could have said it properly..
I should have controlled myself..

I am sorry my love..
I am sorry to have hurt you..
I am sorry to have made you scared of me..
I am sorry to have made you lost your excitement..
I am sorry to have turn the happiest day to the worst one..

Please forgive my stupidity..
Please forgive my impatience..
Please forgive my damned self..
Please stop doubting my sincerity..

I want to be with you.
I want to meet your family..
I want to talk about our engagement..
I want to talk about our wedding..
I want to talk about the day we have our own house..
I want to talk about the day we have a child together..
I want to talk about the day we let our child be married..
I want to talk about the day we have our own grandchildren..
I want all of that, together..

With you..

Please forgive me...

Time:  1.28AM

Listening to: Backstreet Boys

Karpal Singh maut dalam kemalangan Jalan Raya!

How I Met Your Mother - The Love Of Barney's Life

What if...

What If..

What if..
I never applied for school transfer..
You decided to object the idea of entering our school..

What if..
I was in another school, far far away..
You entered another school, much further away..

What if..
I never became addicted to IT..
You had been a nerd student in school..

What if..
I am in a relationship..
You are in a relationship..

What if..
He never went away..

What if..
I did not broke up..
You did not broke up..

What if..
I never commented on your status..
You stop texting me altogether..

What if..
Our past never crossed...
Our story never crossed..
Our path never crossed..


All that happened..
All the happiness..
All the sadness..
All the sorrow..
All the stress..
Everything..

If all of that did not happen..
I would have not met you..
We would not fall in love..
We would not be together..
We would not have even known each other..

Everyday..
I thank my angel for putting us together..
I thank my angel for what has happened..
I thank my angel for the test received..
I thank my angel for sending you to me..

And everyday..
I love you for being with me..
I love you for making me smiles..
I love you for caring of me..
I love you for going out with me..
I love you for all the quirky faces..
I love you for all I never experienced..
I love you for accepting me as I am..
I love you for understanding me..
I love you for thinking..
and even saying before what I say..

And I love you..
For lighting my roads..
Helping me up when I'm down..
Cheering me up when I'm sad..
Advising me when I need it..
Even being there for me when I need it..

Nur Azierah..
I love you with all my heart..
I love you with all myself..
I love you with all my thoughts..

I hope..
we would be till the end..
we walk down the aisle..together..
we would have children together..
we would be parents together..
we would grow old together..

That my last breath..
Is with you..

I love you..
I miss you..

Time: 10.23p.m.

Album listened: None.

Mood: Missing you so much right now..

It's been a long year, even if it's only April

Hey pembaca(kalau ada),
lama gak aku tak menulih. jadi macam annual posting plak. dah dkat sini.
Skang ni aku tgah tarak idea apa nak tulih dkat sini..
Tapi yg pasti, aku akan cuba aktifkan blek diri ngan menulis blog..
nantikan saja update2 dari aku...

thanks..